Family Guy's Brian Griffin To Leave Show

"I've had it up to here.  We've got two shows left to tape and I'm outta here."

A clandestine Whit Satire reporter got some intriguing news and views from Family Guy's top dog.  The conversation took place at the Quahog Marriott bar.  It appeared to our intrepid reporter that Mr.  Griffith had been enjoying a range of alcoholic beverages before the conversation started.

"They tried to kill me off a few years ago and replace me with some flea-bitten dog from New Jersey.  How's that for loyalty and gratitude?

After buying Mr. Griffin a mojito, our reporter asked why he was upset enough to leave the show.

"You wanna know why I'm leaving?  I'll tell you why I'm leaving.  Peter's ego has just gone ballistic over the past two seasons.  He always thought he was a great actor, now he thinks he's Homer Simpson.  Nobody's Homer Simpson pal, Homer Simpson ain't even Homer Simpson."

Mr. Griffin excused himself to smoke a cigarette in the parking lot as he complained about the Rhode Island indoor smoking ban, "It's like living in North Korea around here."  He eventually made his way back to the bar and ordered another mojito.  "Why I couldn't get a gig on Game of Thrones is beyond me,"  he said in between gulps.

"And then there's Lois, sweet little Lois who flirts with me constantly between takes, but when I try to take it to the next level........forget about it."

"Chris and Meg are alright but man they're dumber than a fencepost.  Trying to have a conversation with them is like sticking your head in a blender."

"Quagmire and Joe are both on the road to rehab, which is perfectly understandable when you consider what they have to put up with, not to mention all the location work here in good old Qhahog.  You know what there is to do in Quahog?  You're lookin' at it buddy."

"But the real cherry on top of the sundae is that damn baby.  The first thing is, he's not even a baby, Stewie is actually a little person in his mid-forties.  We had to sign contracts swearing we wouldn't tell how old he is.  The second thing, he controls everything.  He constantly fights with McFarlane about everything - the script, the lighting, the characters - he even gets to set the time we do tapings and voice-overs.  You haven't lived till you try to do a voice-over at two in the morning after a half bottle of Jack.  The third and worst is, he gets paid twice as much as the rest of the, uh, the rest of the, uh, cast.  Hey, you think you could spot me another mo......"

At this point in the conversation, Mr. Griffith stared into space for several minutes before his snout slammed into the top of the bar.